Two days after officiating my friends’ wedding, I hopped on a plane for Atlanta.
My brother and his wife live in the suburbs there and welcomed their son, Baby C, just four weeks ago. Since they already have a two year-old boy, B, running around, I figured they could use an extra set of hands around the house.
I was right. My hands have been put to immediate use here at Camp Wipe Me, where I currently serve as Deputy Toddler Wrangler and Backup Infant Handler. (As far as I can tell, the only qualifications for this job are opposable thumbs and willingness to buy a plane ticket.)
B and I have spent some quality time together over the past two years, so I was excited to have another chance to hang out with him. I was surprised to learn that the kid now speaks in complete sentences. Of course, most of them are incomprehensible thanks to my brother’s belief that there’s no need to talk down to toddlers. Two of my nephew’s recent words of the day are “unorthodox” and “excavator.”
But this morning, my conversation with B didn’t include any exotic words and instead centered on my suitcase. He noticed that it was empty. I explained that, since I was staying awhile, I had unpacked all of my clothes and put them in a chest of drawers. B is a firm believer in “trust, but verify,” so he headed straight to the dresser.
He opened the drawers as fast as he could and started pulling out random articles of clothes. And then he began to put them on. All of them. At once. He was clad simultaneously in a pair of my shorts, capri pants and a skirt before Daddy showed up and ruined the fun.
When I mentioned this episode to my mother, she said, “Why didn’t you take a picture?” I would have if I could have, trust me, but I had my hands full trying to get Tootsie to put my pants on one leg at a time.
Since I last spent time with him, B has also become a devotee of scatology. As I changed him this morning, he yelled, “I wanna see it!”
That makes one of us, kid.
Anyway, my hands don’t have a whole lot of non-work time to type at the moment, so I’m blogging less. (Hey, at least it’s a new excuse.) But I will be back here on Sunday. It happens to be Dad’s birthday, so the Camp Wipe Me inmates and I will be posting a special tribute.